The front-man is almost always going to be a band’s biggest advantage and biggest obstacle when it comes to hitting the big time. The front-man is literally the face of the band; public perception rests on whether he or she is funny, charming and sexy, or arrogant, self-righteous and annoying. I mean let’s face it; the rest of Coldplay could be really nice guys, but Chris Martin is a big enough cock for all of them.

While a living lead singer can be a pain in the arse for a band, a dead one is a massive thorn in the side of their career. With a few a notable exceptions (AC/DC springs instantly to mind) when your singer croaks, from drugs, booze or a strangle wank, you may as well call it a day. Sadly, bands don’t always get this message and the trend for the celebrity stand-in has arisen.

Bizarrely the latest band to fall victim to this crime are The Faces, whose former lead singer, Rod Stewart, isn’t actually dead. Just in a bit of an arse with the rest of the band. This makes their decision to go on tour with former Simply Red lead ginger, Mick Hucknall, doubly tragic. I admit that Hucknall’s got an adequate set of pipes on him, and can probably do a reasonably good impression of Rod the Mod, but the fact is he remains a glorified Karaoke singer, while Stewart pockets all the royalties.

 Queen are probably the band guilty of starting this whole thing. after years of inactivity following the death of Freddie ‘DAYO’ Mercury (surely one of the all time great front-men), they decided to get it back together with former Free and Bad Company singer, Paul Rodgers. No disrespect to the man, I’ll sing along to All Right Now as much as anyone else, but no-one can replace the prancing, mustachiod genius of Mercury, and Rodgers just didn’t have the presence.

It’s possible that the lack of success of these bands is because of the clashing personalities. I’m sure Mick was a huge Faces fan back in his youth, but his time fronting a crap pop-soul band doesn’t really qualify him for a dirty bar-room blues band. Likewise Paul Rodgers was always the working man’s front-man, streetwise and raw. Put him in front of the most overblown and theatrical band in history (apart from maybe Kiss) and he’s just going to choke.

The Doors got it semi-right, choosing Ian Astbury, the dark and brooding front man of 80s goth-rockers The Cult, as their Jim Morrison replacement.  Astbury spent the better part of the 80s mimicking Morrison’s Native American style mysticism and caterwauling stage presence, it seemed only apt he should get a chance to live his teenage dream.  Sadly, while it was more successful than most, it’s still just a tribute act.

I dread to think who’ll be dredged up next. Bruce Foxton and Rick Buckler have already threatened to get someone in to front the Jam since Paul Weller isn’t interested, but I can’t really see it happening. I just wish bands would stop pissing all over their legacies and let dead front-men lie.