Another week and another driving under the influence charge for, formally massive now completely past-it pop twat, George Michael. Doubt I’m alone in hating Georgy boy’s music, I also doubt I’m the only one who developed a grudging respect for him after he said in an interview in the Guardian that he only smoked “seven or eight spiffs a day now, as opposed to my usual twenty five”.

However one thing that bothers me about Michael’s love for the chronic is his insistence on getting absolutely fucked and driving. You’re a rich man George, with a consistent royalty check, get a fucking driver, instead of falling asleep at the wheel or crashing into the front of Snappy Snaps in Hampstead.

Musicians have a long and troubling history of causing automotive mayhem while under the influence of various substances, and it’s one of those things that is genuinely deplorable no matter who does it. Whether it’s a 80s pop star or just some moron who’s had one too many, it’s always inexcusable. As further proof here’s a few of the worst drunk or drugged up while driving stories in music.

Vince Neil and Razzle

Finnish rock giants (yes, there’s such a thing) Hanoi Rocks played their first Californian shows in the winter of 1984. Unlike their glam contemporaries on the LA scene, Hanoi Rocks had a fair amount of critical success, they wrote classic rock tunes, and years later Guns N Roses would steal their act. After the California shows the band decided to go and party with the moronic lead singer of Mötley Crüe, Vince Neil. After many hours drinking, Neil and Hanoi drummer, Razzle, decided to go down to liquor store for more booze. Twenty minutes later, Neil has crashed the car, severely injuring two other people, and killing Razzle. Hanoi never truly recovered, Neil was in prison for a paltry fifteen days and went on to go double platinum twice, where’s the justice.

Gloria Jones and Marc Bolan

Gloria Jones is known for two things, the original, Northern Soul version of foot stomping club classic, Tainted Love, and killing T. Rex front-man, Marc Bolan. The ironic thing about Bolan was that while he may been obsessed with cars (eulogising them in songs like Cadillac and Jeepster) he had no licence and couldn’t actually drive, so when he and his wife (Jones) left the Morton’s drinking club in 1977, it was ironically she who ploughed them into a sycamore tree, killing Bolan instantly. Life’s a gas indeed.

Randy Rhoads and Don Airey 

Ok, so a little off topic, but if drunk driving is a bad idea, you know drunk flying is a really bad idea. Rhoads was the young guitar prodigy who saved Ozzy Osbourne’s career in the early 80s, infusing his albums with epic riffs and neo-classical melody. In 1982, after two massively successful albums, the band were taking a break from touring when Randy and Don (the bands keyboardist) decided on a little jaunt in a small plane. Needless to say both of them had enough narcotics and drink in them to floor a rhino, and the flight ended very badly, adding the pair to a list of flight casualties that includes Buddy Holly and most of Lynyrd Skynyrd.